My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
