I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the day after is always just damage control
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
