Just fell off a train. Bad.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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