these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
