idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this will be a night to untag.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
