i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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