its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
