do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize