I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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