At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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