I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
