I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
