i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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