i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
