Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
