is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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