Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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