LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
