I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We talked him into tasing himself.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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