I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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