You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
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There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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