Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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