Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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