If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize