$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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