if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
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NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
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shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️