why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
