No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
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Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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