i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
