The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
how drunk are you?
Several
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
