He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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