two words: eviction party
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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