I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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