I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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