Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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