You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
