You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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