you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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