is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize