Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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