Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
