I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We were destined to go to rehab together
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
