It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
