i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
