so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
