Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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