So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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