How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Randomize
