Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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