if you like me you must not know who I am
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.