Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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