Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.

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(678): View more from Georgia

So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night

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(845): View more from New York

Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

it was like fucking gandolphs beard

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"

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(810): View more from Michigan

Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful

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