and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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