Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
