so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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