i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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