he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
