in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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