i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
