i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
