Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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