i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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